Alone
by alatarwen
Summary: Ryou is finding it hard and hard to deal with not having control of his own mind.


"Please go away."  
  
Ryou sat in the darkest corner of his mind, afraid and unable to move. The spirit of the Millenium Ring had taken control of his body, but he could not see or hear what was happening and he knew he would not remember much when he was given back control of his mind. That was how it always was.  
  
The fear was not so much for himself, but for his friends. What if he did something terrible to them? What if one of them or all of them got hurt because he was not strong enough to control the evil spirit that lay with in him, using him merely as a vessel, nothing more. How could he live with himself then?  
  
He'd seen the looks before. Untrustful glances from Jounochi, Anzu, and Honda, even from Yugi on occasion. The spirit of Yugi's Millenium Puzzle had saved him once from being trapped in the Shadow Realm, but sometimes Ryou wished he hadn't. He would much rather feel lonely there than here, where he was a slave. He hated the Yami that lived within him, hated him with all his heart. But he also feared him.  
  
Not often did he see the Yami when he was locked in his mind, thankfully, for it was a strange and horrible sight. It was like looking in a mirror, one that ages you. He stood taller than Ryou and had cruel eyes. He never spoke, only laughed and walked away into the darkness. But this time was different. This time when he came he did speak to Ryou, for it was also the first time Ryou had ever spoken aloud while trapped.  
  
Poor Ryou watched the older image of himself approach. Yami stood over him, grinning. Then the grin disappeared while he watched Ryou cower before him and for the first time spoke.  
  
"I can't believe the reincarnation of myself was given such a weak and spineless soul!" Yami scoffed and shook his head.  
  
"Please..." Ryou said quietly, but could say no more for the fear inside him grew and he was now shaking.  
  
"Please?" mocked Yami. "Please what? Go away and leave you alone? Let your friends alone? You're lucky you get to see them at all! I could get rid of you when ever I please! You're 'friends' wouldn't even notice. I've fooled them before."  
  
Ryou shook his head slowly, trying to find the courage to stand up. It wasn't there.  
  
"No?" Yami said. "Maybe I should let you watch. I've just found Yugi and Honda. Should we see if I can be you?"  
  
Suddenly before him, Ryou could see his two friends as if he were looking though his own eyes as he normally did, but when he turned around the darkness was still there. He watched as Yami approached his friends from behind, suddenly afraid that he was going to hurt them.  
  
"Hey guys!" Ryou heard his voice say. Yami's voice was deeper than his own but he had spoken in Ryou's own voice.  
  
"Hello Bakura!" Yugi said cheerfully and smiled.  
  
"Bakura! Buddy! How ya doin?" Honda patted Bakura's arm. "Feelin..good today?"  
  
Ryou noticed the hesitation in Honda's voice and flinched. It had always bothered him that Honda was suspicious because he had always been nice to him when he knew (or thought he knew) it was really him and not the evil spirit, unlike---  
  
"Hello Jounochi!" Ryou heard his voice say. Jounochi looked at Bakura suspiciously and muttered hello. He never seemed to trust Bakura, and Ryou could understand that. He didn't trust himself because he knew he couldn't control his Yami. But to know that they believed they were talking to was the most frightening part.  
  
"See," he heard Yami say in a sarcastic big brother type way, "they think they're talking to you. That's why I don't let you watch, because I know it would be to painful for you."  
  
But still Ryou had to watch and listen as Yami used his body and voice to talk to his friends. And they believed it was him. Even Jounochi had warmed up a bit, which didn't happen often. Then Anzu and Mai arrived. There was no hesitation, no second glances. They too thought he was alright. And they were all talking and laughing together.  
  
Ryou covered his ears and shut his eyes tightly. It was too much. It felt like everyone had gotten into somewhere fun and exciting and he was left outside the gate and they didn't know, they just kept going, no one even turning to see why he wasn't with them.  
  
"Stop it!" he cried, tears starting to wet his cheeks. Still he could hear muffled voices, cheerfully saying goodbyes to Bakura. He brought his knees up to his chest, sobbing, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Please stop....please..."  
  
When the voices stopped and he finally opened his eyes, the spirit stood over him with an evil grin of satisfaction on his face.  
  
"Now you know." The malicious voice mad Ryou shudder. "If you become an annoyance I'll make sure you can see every minute of you're life that I live. You can watch me slowly destroy the pharoah and your little friend Yugi along with him. Honda and Jounochi will have to go to, they'll get in my way trying to stop my I know. Possibly Anzu too. And Mai may find herself in my way if she's not careful. All of them, one by one or all at once, which ever they choose. They'll all be gone. Do you really want to watch that?"  
  
For a moment Ryou felt a fury stronger than his fear and made to stand up. But a horrifying change came over the spirit of the Ring. He began to laugh so loudly that Ryou had to cover his ears. At that moment Yami looked like a corpse or a zombie or some other blood chilling creature from the horror movies. Ryou drew back, his anger lost in his terror.  
  
"And if you try become a problem..." Yami knelt down so that they were nose to nose. Ryou had never seen such a fierce and viscious stare. "...if you try to save them, if you try to stop me, I'll bury you so deep that not even the power of the all mighty pharoah and his Millenium Puzzle can bring you back. You'll suffer alone, in the dark, for eternity!" And then he left, giving Bakura's body back to it's rightful owner.  
  
Ryou blinked, stunned, and looked at his surroundings. He was in a small alley way. Shaken and afraid, he backed up against a brick wall and crouched down. It was cold in the shadowy alley and he sat shivering with his head in his hands.  
  
"Leave me alone," he whispered. He was so afraid and confused. He wanted to help, wanted to rid himself and his friends of the dark power that had enslaved him. But how was he suppose to fight a spirit that was strong enough to trap him in his own mind?  
  
"Bakura?" Ryou jumped up so fast he nearly fell over again, startled by the voice that had addressed him. An overwhelming sense of relief washed over him when he saw Honda standing before him, looking very worried. "Hey man, you alright?"  
  
"Yes," Ryou said. "Just...just a headache, that's all. I think I've had too much sun today. I'll be fine."  
  
"You sure?" Ryou had to fight back the urge to tell Honda everything. He didn't want his friend to get hurt, so he had to hide his fears and keep his secret.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Alright." Honda had given him an unconvinced look before answering. "Did you need a ride home? I'm on my bike, but I've got the extra helmet handy."  
  
"No, that's alright. I'm actually on my way to meet someone." Honda knew when not to be nosey so Ryou wasn't worried about any questions.  
  
"Well, I'll see you around then." Honda said as he put on his helmut. He hesitated a moment before getting on his motorcycle. He was about to leave when Ryou put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"...thanks Honda," Ryou said with a smile. There was something (was it concern?) in Honda's eyes. He patted Ryou on the back.  
  
"Anytime man!" With that he started up his motorcycle and rode away, leaving Ryou standing on the sidewalk alone...again. 


End file.
